Oh, Line.

The 2008 Buffalo Bills were putrid in the interior of their offensive line, a fact made exponentially worse by the slew of nasty nose tackles they faced. Sean Rodgers, Vince Willfork, and Kris Jenkins treated our wimp Centers like T-bone steaks at an all you could eat buffet. They went back for seconds so many times that they were asked to leave.

I was glad to see us address the interior of the o-line in the draft, taking two big, nasty maulers in the first two rounds. I have mild concern about losing Jason Peters and replacing him with Langston 'Panda Bear' Walker, but I just don't think Peters was motivated to play in Buffalo. His play was mediocre at best last year, and his pro bowl nod came solely based upon the fact that he made it the year before. I am convinced that those who vote for the pro bowl are too lazy to do the research and often send the o-linemen whose names they have heard of. How else do you explain Ruben Brown going to Hawaii 8 years in a row? I will concede that 2 years ago, Jason Peters played like a beast, he is still very young, and franchise LTs don't grow on trees. But, it was an irreconcilable situation, and I only wish we got more in return.

The first thing about our O-line that bothers me going into this season is the complete lack of continuity. None of our projected starters played their projected positions for the Bills last year. 4 of the 5 guys occupying the top slots on the depth chart will be playing, effectively brand new positions (Walker moving from RT to LT, Wood from C to RG, Levitre from LT to LG, and Butler from RG to RT). I would be nervous enough if we were just relying on two rookies, but this musical chairs on our O-line makes me especially shaky. Our line was barely serviceable last year and our run blocking was embarrassing. Are we any better this year? Lets look at it position by position:

Left Tackle - 2008: Jason Peters (C+) allowed a butt load of sacks when he graced us with his presence on the field (He missed the first game of the season recovering from the surgery that removed his agent from his anal cavity, and the last two games because he didn't feel like playing) 2009: Langston Walker (C+) has been durable and solid. He will struggle with speed rushers, but we don't face a premier Right End until week 8 when Mario Williams and the Texans come to the Ralph. By then, he should be either hurt or fully adjusted to the switch. He's a smart guy and I don't think we'll see a noticeable fall off.

Left Guard - 2008: Derrick Dockery (D) was terrible. He didn't hold up the pocket on passing plays or make a single run block that got us tough yards on third down. He was a miserable signing. 2009: Andy Levitre (C+) will have to adjust to moving inside, and learning an NFL offense. I think he can do it, and NLF network's Mike Mayock rated him the best guard in the draft.... so, we'll see. I like thinking about him and Wood will look 2,3,4 years down the road. This year, there promises to be some growing pains.

Center - Fowler/Preston (F-) sucked so bad. I hate both of them and wish Duke Preston nothing but the worst in everything he does in life. If you are going to be a loudmouth deuchebag, at least be good at your job. Sick move signing with Green Bay... of all the NFL cities, you have now lived in Buffalo, NY and Green Bay, Wisconsin. Everyone there will hate you in due time, you are the worst player in the NFL. I heard you chose the Center position after asking your high school guidance counselor, "What is the job where I can have a strapping man's hand up my ass?" I hate you, Duke Preston. 2009: Geoeffe Hangartner (C), I have never heard of him, he's started like 8 games in his career, and the Bills front office acted like signing him was a huge deal... hope he's good.

Right Guard - 2008: Brad Butler (C), when he was healthy, he was fine. The problem is that he is never healthy for a full season. 2009: Eric Wood (B) is obviously an unknown as a rookie, but the tape I have seen on him makes it seem like he is NFL ready. I wish he was playing his natural position at Center, but I think his physicality will help open up running lanes for Marshawn and Fredo.

Right Tackle - 2008: L. Walker (B) was good and durable. Limited in his run blocking, but was probably our most valuable 0-lineman last year. 2009: Brad Butler (B) has a chance to be good at the position where he played in college. He is big enough to play tackle.

So, it looks like this year's line should approximate last years, with the interior of the line showing some potential for improvement. The real strength of our line this year looks to be its depth. With Bell, Chambers, and Mckinney as capable, versatile back ups waiting for the injury that is sure to come, I feel confident that Trent should have sufficient time to throw. I do not think that any of our tight ends are good enough blockers to help out our tackles and pick up say Joey Porter rushing around the edge. But, spreading the field out with 4 and 5 WR sets should serve to reduce the frequency with which opposing defenses will stack the box.

Overall, I think our O-line will be just good enough to not be a glaring deficiency and our coaches need to help them out with some creative play calling. We're screwed....

Bills offseason report

The bills won't be hanging out together for the next six weeks which comes as good news to players creeped out by Skeletor look-alike, Dick Jauron (pronounced Mauron). This gives us a nice opportunity to reflect on the off season and come up with some realistic expectations for the coming year.

My confidence in this team hit an all time low after our wk 17 loss to the Pats, but the calender turning over has an odd amnesia-like effect on us Bills fans.

Not much has changed from the team who thought they were a playoff contender after beating the Bolts at the Ralph, and on paper we look like we should be competitive. (Translation: expecting glimpses of hope, key injuries, 7-9, and the eleventh pick(hoping Gresham is still there)).

Here are the big questions heading into training camp as I see it. We will do our best to address one of these questions per day or week or fortnight or whatever (and most likely come up with more questions along the way):

A. O-line: Can two blue chip rookies step in immediately and hold up against the staunch DTs of the AFC east? Can Langston Walker make the transition to LT and keep the speed rushers away from Trent Edwards blind side? Can Brad Buttler stay healthy for an entire season? Is our line athletic enough to get outside and block for three excellent pass catching RBs? Will any of our young TEs be able to learn to block well enough to help our tackles (both of whom are playing different positions than they did last year)? Have you noticed how many questions I have about our O-line?


2. Outside linebacker: did Keith Ellison hypnotize Mauron into thinking he was good enough to be a starting NFL linebacker? Will passing on Crowell, Kieho, June, Pisa, etc come back to bite us in the ass?

D. T.O.- is this a 'prove I deserve to be considered one of the best 5 WRs of all time' year' or a 'one more huge pay day before hanging up the pompoms and appearing on celebrity apprentice' year? Will he blow up? Will he free up Lee Evans to make big plays, or pout when Lee gets more balls? How will the honeymoon end?

4. Will Chris Berman be wearing long sleeves under his sport coat as he introduces casual acquaintance, 88 year old Ralph Wilson?

5. Safety: I just farted. But seriously, what's the plan at SS and FS? Where does Whitner go? Where does Byrd fit in? Do Ko and B. Scott both make the 53? Why is Ko not calling me to try to sell me life insurance?

6. QB: I am the biggest Trent Edwards hater out there, but I am still holding out hope that he proves me wrong. Either way, this is a put up or shut up(even if he plays well, I'd love for him to shut up) season for #5.

7. Pass rush: is Shobel good again? Can we generate pressure without blitzing? Can Mccargo put it together and give us an inside pass rush while Stroud eats up double teams? Will Maybin give us anything year 1?

8: Head Coach: how many challenges will Mauron blow this year? Will Bobby April get a job offer from another team before we wise up and
hand him the reins?

We will discuss these questions and more in the coming weeks.

Losman Busts out of Buffalo - Vegas, hide your.... Daughters?

JP Losman is loser. He has a stupid haircut and he's probably retarded, and he's such a bust that no NFL team will consider signing him to be their #3 QB. Now he's in the UFL where he'll probably be the MVP of the league. Going from the Bills to the UFL is the college football equivalent of going from UCLA, where he couldn't wrest the starting QB job from current NFL free agent receiver, Drew Bennett, to Tulane.

Suck my balls, JP. Don't think I forgot that time you came to Colter Bay looking for people to hang out with and pathetically asked to hang out with us. All the Michelob Ultras in the world can't buy my friendship

http://dukesofawesome.com/2008/10/08/dating-tips-with-jp-losman/

Im Back! Back in a New York Groove....

So, I used to have what some people described as a serious problem. I had a terrible job. I was working for a vindictive boss, in a pointless profession, suffering long hours for a barely survivable wage for a young man in the NYC metro area.

My funds were spread even thinner by my routine $18 lunches. $6 for a sandwich, $1 fresca, $1 for a sack of goldfish, and $10 for a NY lottery 'Set for Life' scratch off card. I would literally buy a scratch off 3 out of a 5 day week. The 'added tax on the poor' was doing a number on my bank account, but the fleeting thought that with one scratch I would be able to rise from my desk and never come back was worth every penny.

About a year ago, after a dozen interviews, I found a job that I like, and my scratch-off problem cleared right up like the inexplicable disappearance of HPV. It wasn't a conscious choice, I just stopped buying scratch offs.

Two weeks ago, on an especially sunny Monday morning I found myself at the counter of the bodega next to my work. 'Wouldn't I be having a better day if I was retired?' I thought. The answer is always yes (I cant think of a force more unstoppable than a 26 year old with zero commitments(think of how many times I could watch Sportscenter in a given week)), so I decided to visit an old friend. I bought a 'Set For'(that's what I call them), scratched it, and it looked as though I had won $5 (It cost $10, so I was really in the hole $5, but whatever). I threw the card on my desk at work and decided I would cash it in when I got around to it.

Well, today I went to cash it in, and to my surprise, the $5 winner was actually $50. I had misread the card, and the star next to the $5 meant it multiplied your winnings by 10. I must have asked the young Chinese woman behind the counter to pronounce the word "fifty" seven times.

"Really? Fifty? Five - O?"

Needless to say, I was thrilled. One of the few things sweeter than free money, is surprise free money. I used $10 of my winnings to get another Set-For, and won $20 on that one. So, it looks like I might have a problem again. It is possible that the problem never went away, and I've had it well before I even knew what the lottery was: I hate to work and will think of any way possible to avoid it.

genesis

Welcome Folks. We decided to start a blog to give ourselves a forum to discuss Sports, Movies, Reality TV competitions, Board Games, Video Games, Card Games, Greeting Cards, Music, Musical Greeting Cards, Copland Bryan, etc. Basically we wanted to devote more of our time to the unimportant crap that we were already discussing for hours and hours on end in a given day. You may not learn anything from this blog, I promise you wont be a better person for having read it, but we're going to do it anyway. You're welcome.

also, we both have french sounding pen-names, so....